her friends thought he was having an affair. they finally confronted the couple.
“that’s ridiculous,” she cried. “he hasn’t so much as looked at another woman in years.”
a tear slowly runs down his cheek. it was true. he lost his eyes in an accident years ago, when he was working at the glue factory. he literally had no eyes. where did the tear come from. why was life so cruel.
but how do we know who the real slim shady is
when we’re all just bricks in the wall
#how can ya have yer puddin’ if ya don’t ask the real questions
Sometimes I feel like humans would be more efficient with four legs
You know they would be.
Paradoxes are what happens when reality is a hypocrite.
Or when Moffat forgets what continuity is.
if i had a baby on mars it would be the first martian
No, it wouldn’t be. Trust me.
I just realized that animals that lay eggs don’t have belly buttons
You realize this applies to many mammals too, right?
when someone’s like, ‘damn I was up until midnight last night, such a night owl lol.’
I wonder if anybody in my life is someone who is really an undercover FBI agent
Please inform Jen that her cover has been compromised. An extraction team will take the two of you to a safe location at approximately 0800 hours.
What if video games are actual people being controlled by us? Like in the movie gamer? What if we are actually someone’s video game and we don’t realize it?
Than whoever is controlling my video game life is boring as shit.
- Parents: Don't forget to make us proud.
- Friends: Don't forget to socialize.
- Teachers: Don't forget to make an A.
- Strangers: Don't forget to blend in.
- Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good.
- Society: Don't forget to be perfect.
- Tumblr: Forget them all. They're peasants. At least you haven't murdered anybody today.
- Tumblr: But in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
